itsladylazarus

I'm beginning to agree with A that self-help books really do help. I used to dismiss them as crap- I mean all they do is repeat things that we all already know but just refuse to acknowledge, right? Except that it's not. It really helps to put everything into perspective and helps you reach realisations you never knew existed in your life. Plus they're usually funny. A little extra humor in life never hurt anyone!

I like crushes. No complicated bullshit. No pretenses. No desire to take anything further. No raging need to pounce on him and make sure he is madly in love with me and wants to marry me in x number of years. No stress. Nothing. Just hanging out, talking, texting, enjoying his ability to make me laugh and... that's it. Maybe it's not even really a crush, just me rediscovering the simple joys in getting to know someone. Who knows.

I've been wanting a change in my life and lately I feel like I'm finally making a bit of progress. Like I can finally feel other emotions again without everything just being overwhelmed by bitterness and anger.

I think I've reached the realisation that there's a difference between being driven and being content with life. Just because I am driven to improve my life doesn't mean that I shouldn't be content with what I already have. I used to be so dissatisfied with what I had- even when I had it all. I was just never happy because I knew I could do better and I couldn't see the distinction in being satisfied and yet wanting to work harder. I'm slowly realising that these 2 things can be seperated.