I got my Lasalle welcoming letter and orientation notice today and I am suddenly kind of scared at the prospect of starting school in less than month. With the exception of A, I know absolutely nobody in Lasalle. And I barely know A as it is anyway, since I've only worked with her once. I have no idea what kind of lectures I'll be attending, what kind of workload faces me, what kind of social environment I'll be in. I have absolutely no idea what modules are compulsary and what modules are optional, I have no idea how well I need to do to advance to Year 2 and it is suddenly occurring to me how much I do not know and that is kind of freaking the shit out of me right now. I have so much to work towards and so much I want to learn and I really, honestly do want to learn so much so badly. I want to go for the SM course next year and I want to go for the TT intro course at the Esplanade and I want to learn how to do so many things and train under the best but Lasalle suddenly seems very big and ominous and scary and my dreams feel very far and out of reach and I suddenly feel very, very, small and tiny and insignificant.
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