S: "I am so fed up with my family"
A: "study hard, get a stable job and then let them disown you"

sounds like a plan bbygirl

mediocre

my middle name.

blah blah blahhhhhh

I really need to get my act together and stop dicking around with my life before I lose every single good thing that has happened to me this year. Everything just landed in front of my face and working out without any of my input. And I am somewhat terrified that once I start actively doing things I will wind up messing something up because I have a tendency for doing things like that. 2008 was a shitty year and 2009 has to be a good year, if only to make up for that. It has to be.

On a separate note though, I fucking hate being thrown ultimatums it SUCKS why can't people just fucking compromise? Especially when it's their own flipping indecision in the first place that put me in this state. Just cos I have one thing does not mean I completely cannot have another. If life works the way things are now and we're okay why change things why make me choose?! Fucking retarded. Asadafdfksdafjkldsfklsf.

for J

"you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on"
tupac shakur

best fucking piece of advice i've ever heard (from tupac no less) stop thinking about it and let it be, it will come back to you. if all else fails i'm always here. love you.

hello from Tampines

I moved to my new place over the weekend! I slept at 5am this morning in a desperate bid to unpack 11 boxes and 2 suitcases in 2 nights. (Didn't really work so I ended up flaking on breakfast plans with Andre and Louis this morning, sorry!!! ): ) Despite much h8 for the fact that the bus stop is so damn far away from my house, I am now staying 10 minutes away from bestfriend, Louisa, Andre and even Wahtat who just moved to Simei, and I'm nearer to Azy and Jing now too... all my favourite people! Plus, I finally have my own room, at the grand ol' age of 19. How rad.

Many many things to do and many people to meet in the next 3 weeks before school starts! Much as I am apprehensive about starting where I know no one I am also pretty excited.

To come:
Secret mission to secret place with A, visit L at ice cream chefs, go out with DeeLouSyl, school shopping with A, flea market prowling with S, meet up with the choirboyz, audition this Saturday (!!!!), buffet with the cellies, meet ShantiD, and I seriously,
seriously, need to start my 5 days a week hardcore gym routine again. Yesterday the Mother sidled up to me and went, "I tell you a sad news okay... you fat already leh." FML.

escapism

There are always questions in my head that I resist asking, that I suppress, to keep from being overanalytical and paranoid. But a little voice that lives in my head continually asks in a steady chant, 'What if? What if? What if?'

Btw, much love to everyone who commented or texted after my school-freakout post, it is incredibly reassuring to have people believe in me, thank you (: Also, it has just occurred to me that if everyone in my faculty turns out painfully strange, there's always poptops to meet between classes!