hello from macau

Day 4 of my 2nd trip of 2014, said goodbye to Hong Kong today and now saying hello from Macau from the boys' apartment.

Surrounded by xbox games and Tamiya cars and the hugest Tamiya track I've ever seen in a tiny apartment, but despite all of that I don't think I've felt this comfortable or this much in my own skin in a really long time.

These days I have no need to pretend, no need to be someone I'm not, I can be exactly who I am and nobody judges me for it. I don't have to be anything I don't feel like I truly am. The future is, as always, uncertain and I don't know where I'll be this time next year but right now, I'm so happy.

Was talking to D yesterday and I shared with her the biggest realisation I made in the last few months, which is that happiness cannot be built around other people. When your happiness depends on nobody but yourself (and for me, on God), the world can crumble and you can lose it all, but you will still find joy in everything. I was never really sure that I believed all of this, until it naturally came from my mouth last night and suddenly everything that people had been saying made sense.

It's truly quite an awesome feeling, and I hope I keep feeling like this.

Grateful and happy, today. :)