i am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, i am not sad. as if he might one day convince himself. or fool himself. or convince others.

everything is illuminated - jonathan safran foer

radiate me
subjugate me
incubate me
recreate me
demarcate me
educate me
punctuate me
evaluate me
conjugate me
impregnate me
designate me
humiliate me
segregate me
opiate me
calibrate me
replicate me

And it came to me then. That we were wonderful traveling companions but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal in their own separate orbits. From far off they look like beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they’re nothing more than prisons, where each of us is locked up alone, going nowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. but that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we’d be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing.

Haruki Murakami

I don't know whether to laugh or cry sometimes.

Joy is misconstrued as sarcasm, sadness misinterpreted as tiredness and anger mistaken for pride.

People read me so wrongly I don't even know what to say.

There's so much about me that people have yet to learn.

We fake the thoughts, and fracture the times
We go blind when we’ve needed to see
And it leans on me
Like a rootless tree

so, this is my life. and i want you to know that i am both happy and sad and i’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

the perks of being a wallflower - steven chbosky